Somebody Actually Made that Terrifying Bot-Written Olive Garden Commercial

Last week, writer and comedian Keaton Patti showed how bots can be a force for good when he said he fed 1,000 hours of Olive Garden ads to a machine and asked it to write one of its own. The result was an absurdist nightmare in the mold of Heiner Müller’s Hamletmachine, a terrorscape where the “pasta nachos” are “warm and defeated,” the “unlimited stick” is “infinite,” and the perils of Friend 4 are suffused with an inexplicable sense of dread.


It was only a matter of time until some brave souls sought to bring it to terrifying life, and now that day has come. You may want to approach with caution, however.

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